Going back to random

I was very sad before I came in to work today. But I feel better now, normal-ish. I forgot my purse, I think. I don't believe I've done that before when going to work... My little brother is in town til tomorrow. My aunt Kay is coming into town, well, tomorrow too and I have a dinner party that has been planned for a month that I just remembered today will be in conflict. Frick. But tomorrow is also my last day of work! Plus when they leave on monday I'll be going with them. Yey! Although that is a mixed yay... A part of me feels really deflated and defeated. I'm not wearing a badge.

I don't know if this is going to develop much. But I must say that despite feeling rather on the bored side of things the time keeps passing. I've done three hours so I like to think now I have a five hour shift... It works better when I don't articulate it.

How to speak?... I don't know, I don't know. John has an iphone and after seeing one up close I want one. They truly are amazing. But that's not going to happen. I don't think I'll ever be willing to drop $500 on a phone, even if I managed to save up enough. Plus I don't really need to do internet with a phone (but I can't deny it would be fun and useful at times.)

It's been a while since I haven't worked. A couple years. I think in my mind I always remember liking it better than I really did. I think I feel a bit lost with all that undefined time. When I work it's easy enough to identify what I'd rather be doing. But when I've got all the free time in the world I seem to have a hard time knowing where to start?

I'm thinking I'd like a couple little wings on my shoulder blades... I don't imagine that is an area of my body that will ever be layered in much fat. I'm getting all these emails from my coworkers wishing me well, asking to be updated and offering up names of people that they know in NY who are vaguely involved in the arts. It's nice, but a little overwhelming right now. I'm not so good at keeping people posted. I tend to let that sort of stuff slip entirely out of my mind. I kind of want to... I like keeping in touch with my friends. Even thought I like my coworkers a lot, I don't want to keep in mind updating them. I probably will anyway. I should write the branch addresses in my sketch book.

I flew through the first potter book. I like how she describes people as going pink when they're angry. As well as a myriad of other colors like green and purple. For the first time I'm rather frustrated I can't read at work, I just feel like plowing through them... (like knitting last winter, although I'm not as useless now, I can do other things.) Hmmm. John suggested temping, he knows a girl who makes $20 an hour temping. I couldn't complain although I imagine I'd hate the work right away... maybe not, since the jobs would always be changing. What a way to pay someone for seriously temporary work... I wonder if temp agencies serve in the capacity of filling in desperation. Maybe that's why they make so much? Because these places are paying highly for untrained people, weird.

I have a semi-research nature that I inherited from my mom. A desire to do things thoroughly. Like with this harry potter thing, I think I'll read a book and watch the corresponding movie plus all extra stuff. I might even listen to the books on disc too, Rich (an info guy at CRO) recommended it, said it adds a nice dimension to the experience. Plus the extra books that Rowling wrote.

Johns been playing the Amelie sound track in the car and every time I hear it right now I want to cry. Plus the stuff he plays on his ipod when he showers makes me want to cry, pretty and sad. I guess I have a little melancholy surfacing. (I need to make my bed. I'm such a lazy bastard.)